Are Your Kids Old Enough to Be Home Alone?
The school year is starting. You're scrambling to put after-school or childcare plans in place when your "tween" daughter tells you that all her friends' moms are letting them stay home alone after school this year. "Why do I still have a babysitter?" she asks. Or worse, she says, "You're making me miserable!"
No Magic Formula
Sound familiar? Like most things with "tweens" and teens, there are no set rules for deciding if your daughter is ready to be home alone. Asking yourself the following questions and talking to your daughter is one way to find out:
- Do you know the legal age a child can be left alone in your community? In most states it is 12 years of age or older, but this does vary. You can call your state's children's protective services agency (or visit their website) to find the answer.
- How mature is she? Children vary in what they are able to handle and in what they fear. Some children can make wise decisions in emergency situations. They don't panic and know how to stay safe. You should know your daughter's comfort level.
- What preparation have you done as a family? Have you practiced fire, tornado, or earthquake drills? Does she know basic first aid? Does she know what to do if there's a power outage or a stranger at the door? Does she know what to say if the phone rings? What if she arrives home and finds the door is open? Teaching your child how to keep herself safe (the Girl Scout program resources at all ages are full of safety information and activities) is the first step. Practicing these safety strategies is the second step.
Although you may worry at first, staying home alone is a normal milestone in your daughter's development. It's a sign—to both of you—that she's growing up.
How to Prepare
Decided to let her stay home alone? Setting some guidelines with your child will help both of you feel better.
- Make sure your daughter checks in with a trusted adult immediately upon arriving home. Set up a system so that you (or a backup) call to check in.
- Agree to rules and consequences about visitors, homework, computer use, and household chores.
- Make sure a list of emergency phone numbers—including 911, poison control, and contacts (like your work phone, relatives, trusted neighbors, etc.)—is posted near all phones and that she knows when and how to call. Include directions to your home from the local hospital or fire house.
- Practice what to say if the phone rings. Or, get an answering machine or "Caller ID" to screen calls. This way she knows who is on the phone and whether or not she should answer it or let the call go to voice mail.
- Practice what to say or do if someone knocks on the door.
- Show her how the door and window locks operate, how to lock and unlock the door, and how to carry her key safely. Have a backup plan if she loses her key.
- Keep all firearms, poisons, and hazardous materials locked away and out of reach.
- Know for sure that your daughter can get home from school or after school activities safely. Discuss what to do if there is a last minute change in plans and that she is never to accept rides from strangers.
- Talk to your child about trusting her instincts. If anything makes her feel uncomfortable or uneasy, she should call you or a trusted neighbor immediately.
